Your Gone

Just like that, your gone.  My phone rang and my mind couldn't comprehend what I was being told.   Your gone.  All my faith usually kicks right in.  Not this time.  One thousand memories.  One thousand laughs.  One thousand one liners among friends.  The beers, the music, the friends and you were the center.  The core of our friendships.  Even in disagreements you chose me.  Stood up for me even when I was wrong.  I knew you were a hero.  To all of us that had it easy, you struggled and got that 4.0 while working two jobs and still making time for us.  What an inspiration.  Every single friend shared in laughter and joy.

So we each went our own ways, but when we saw each other it was as if no time passed.  You never got to see this farm.  You didn't get to meet Kate.  I'm sorry there wasn't more time.  Really sorry.

My life keeps changing and people I love and cherish keep leaving.  So here is to you John;

Death leaves a heartache
no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no
one can steal.

Until we meet again,

may God hold you
in the palm of his hand.

I love you and we WILL meet again.

Making Adjustments

Looly is going to start preschool.  It isn't the preschool we were trying to get her into, it is the preschool we prayed for.  It is a special needs preschool.  She will get speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy.  She will be with other kids that have disabilities.   None that have Down Syndrome.  The other kids can talk.  Looly only says a few words.  This is the time to move her along to be the best she can be.

I can't wait to hear her ask me to make her pancakes for breakfast.  Or to take her to the library, or outside swimming!  What I really can't wait for, is to hear the words, I LOVE YOU MUM!  When she was born I had to wait four excruciating days to hold her because of all the tubes attached to her.  Now we are waiting four years to hear her talk.  To say patience is a virtue is certainly being taught to us!

Looly is listening better.  When we say no now, she stops her antics, which are many.  She is the sunshine in our home.  She gives the best hugs I have ever ever gotten.  If someone is having a bad day or feeling the need for love, we know where to go, Looly!

I haven't written in a long time because of so many changes inside of myself.  I needed to stop worrying so much and find genuine joy again.  I needed to rediscover a side of myself that got lost along the way.  God certainly walked along holding my hand and reassuring me of His undying love and forgiveness.  This is the Year of Mercy declared by our Holy Father Pope Francis.  We have been learning so much about mercy from others and learning to give mercy.

I found the homily my wonderful Priest gave today very comforting.  Every year we read the Prodical Son story.  This year it touched on me personally.  Even though I didn't leave, internally I was astray from God's infinite mercy.

Trying to be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt and friend isn't easy, but with Gods grace I will carry on with joy.  Looly isn't the only one making adjustments!